When it comes to relationships, many people have “types”, which are the specific traits, interests or traits they find most attractive among their partners. We often hear phrases like “I only date someone X” or “My ideal partner is Y”, which leads us to believe that our love choices should be rigid and based on the most comfortable and familiar things.
However, the idea that you should only date someone who matches your exact “type” may not work as well as we once thought of it. Experts suggest that sometimes, dating someone who doesn’t exactly fit your usual mold may be just the best thing for you. So, should you also date someone who is not your type? The answer may surprise you, which is why experts say “yes”.
1. You may limit yourself
One of the most important drawbacks of just dating people of your particular “type” is that you may be limiting yourself to a small percentage of potential partners. This self-imposed filter may prevent you from meeting someone who might be a great game, but who doesn’t fit the typical traits you think are essential.
Research in the field of interpersonal relationships shows that many people are attracted by certain traits or personalities due to social expectations or past experiences. For example, you might think you need someone who is career-oriented, highly ambitious or extroverted. However, these traits may not necessarily lead to the most fulfilling or harmonious relationship.
By staying on dates with people outside of typical preferences, you can broaden your horizons and be open to finding unexpected compatibility and deeper connections. You may find that qualities that you don’t think are important, such as kindness, humor, or emotional intelligence, are much more meaningful than you initially realize.
2. Love is not about checkbox
When you date someone based on an ideal list of traits, it sometimes makes the experience more like ticking on a box rather than really connecting with someone. The truth is that love is not something that can be boiled down to a specific set of standards, but about chemistry, shared value and mutual respect.
Experts explain that love often grows from qualities that don’t seem to be immediately attractive. When you get to know someone better, it feels like the initial mismatch can evolve into something deep and fulfilling. In fact, sometimes the quality that initially makes someone “not your type” might be something that brings you closer together.
For example, a partner who does not share your love for certain hobbies may introduce you to new interests or activities you find pleasant, expand your perspective and help you grow. Or, someone with very different communication styles can help you improve your communication skills, thus building healthier, more balanced relationships.
3. Personal growth comes from embracing differences
Relationships are usually mirrors of personal growth. By dating someone who doesn’t match your usual expectations, you can challenge your preconceived ideas and learn to accept the differences. Experts stress that building relationships with people outside of “type” promotes flexibility, emotional adaptability, and self-reflection.
Rather than simply seeking someone to reflect your preferences, dating someone who brings a different perspective will lead to richer and dynamic interactions. You may find that some qualities you once thought were less important when you witness the way your partner’s strengths complement yourself.
Additionally, experiencing new perspectives and learning how to connect with people of different backgrounds or lifestyles can significantly improve your emotional maturity and expand your worldview. This personal growth can lay the foundation for a more comprehensive relationship and ultimately benefit both parties.
4. The importance of compatibility to similarity
Many people mistakenly believe that having something in common with their partner is the key to a successful relationship. However, compatibility is often more important than similarity. This is not about having the same interests, hobbies, or personality traits. It’s about being able to communicate effectively, support each other’s goals, and establishing an effective balance for both parties.
Dating someone who is not your type can challenge your ability to focus on qualities that really matter to long-term compatibility, such as emotional support, trust, and compromise. You may find that even if you and your partner have different preferences, your shared values, commitment to each other, and the ability to handle challenges together make the relationship more meaningful.
5. You may miss a real connection
One of the main reasons people avoid dating people who are “not their type” is because they worry that this won’t lead to the same level of connection. However, experts point out that when we step out of our comfort zone and connect ourselves with those who do not fully expect, the deepest connections are often formed.
True connections go beyond the surface level and have a deeper understanding of each other’s needs, desires, and dreams. By dating people of different types of your usual type, you may find shared values and qualities that lead to a fulfilling, meaningful connection that you would have missed.
6. Emotional usability neglect and preference
Another reason to date someone outside of your type might be a good option, which allows you to prioritize emotional compatibility over surface attributes. While attractiveness is undeniable, emotional usability and maturity are more important when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships.
Many find themselves prioritizing appearance, career status, or shared hobbies over emotional connections. However, the ability to communicate openly, respect conflict and emotional support will determine the long-term success of the relationship, rather than simply making the partner fit your ideal mold.
Dating someone who may not be suitable for your usual physical or personality preferences can provide you with space to assess their emotional availability and support, which may be a more meaningful factor in a lasting relationship.
7. Go beyond the “type” myth
While it is natural to have preferences when it comes to dating, it is also important to recognize that the concept of having a specific “type” can be limiting. Many of us often stick to an idealized version of the appearance or behavior of our partner based on social pressure, media portrayal or past experience.
However, experts believe that by challenging this concept of “type”, you can find the possibility of love where you least expect it. You may not end up with someone you think you want to be with, but you may find someone who adds unexpected value to your life and teaches you more about yourself in the process.
Bottom Line: Is it worth dating someone who is not your type?
The answer is yes. While it is completely natural to have preferences and desires in relationships, being too rigid about your expectations may prevent you from discovering true potential and connection with someone who doesn’t fit into a typical mold. Love is complicated, and sometimes you may be a package you never thought of.
Rather than focusing on surface features or typical “types”, let yourself explore relationships based on compatibility, emotional support, and shared values. You might be surprised by embracing the depth of connection that people can achieve initially different from the ones you expect.
Have you ever dated someone outside the usual “type”? How does experience change your perspective on relationships?
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Riley is an Arizona native with over nine years of writing experience. From personal finance to travel to digital marketing to popular culture, she wrote everything in the sun. When she is not writing, she will spend time outside, reading or embracing two corgis.
