When investment is more attractive than spending, fight back!

In my post “You feel the various millionaire milestones,” A commenter named Joseph shared the following thoughts:
“I’m fascinated by a person worth $10 million or $20 million. They’re hanging out with nothing except billionaires? The only other explanation is a scarcity mentality. But I think that mentality takes them to their place. They need to learn to flowers now! Once we reach $5 million, there will definitely be $150,000 to $200,000 in cars. I think staring at the Porsche or Lamborghini logo will help things that aren’t rich. ”
Learning how to spend money is something many huge savers and investors must work hard on. When I turned 45 in 2022, my mission was to start spending more money to lower my net worth. It works, but not intentionally. Thank you, I lost a lot of money that year in the bear market!
Then, at the end of 2023, I deliberately threw a lot of cash on my unwanted house. My thoughts: I may still live in the best home I can afford while the kids are still with us. Of course, the additional property taxes, maintenance costs and opportunity costs will start to drag on my net worth. YOLO!
But the stock market has other plans. It soared in 2024 and reappeared in 2025. Meanwhile, San Francisco real estate returns to life, with the bidding war in the springs of 2024 and 2025.
It turns out that my net worth is more dependent on the whimsical market than any of my actions. The only reliable way to reduce it is to make consistently bad investments and then panic at the bottom. But who wants to do this? After a lifetime of investment, my instinct is to continue working hard to make money.
For expenses, I could only eat so much Wagyu steak before I got sick. My favorite Retro Air Jordans cost $200 and only has too much closet space. I don’t like $50,000+ watches or clothes, nor does my wife. Private flights are very expensive, so we won’t. And, when we spend about most of the day, or sleep for eight hours a night, I still can’t pay a lot for holiday rentals.
Spending money requires special skills, and this is something I’m working on developing.
Even if you technically say it’s easy to not feel rich
If your net worth is over $1 million, you are richer than 94% of Americans. If you are not there yet, I will help you get there with my USA Today Bestseller, Millionaire Milestone: Simple Steps to Seven Numbers.
With a net worth of $13 million, you rank in the top 1% of one of the richest countries in the world. you should Feel rich on this level, but not always.
So why aren’t more rich people feeling rich?
Because it’s relative, as Joseph suggests, when he mentions “nothing is hanging out except for billionaires”.
I answered Joseph:
Yes, there is a scarcity mentality. For example, 50% of NVIDIA employees are worth $25 million or more. This means you often encounter colleagues worth between $500,000 and $1 million.
My softball friend who joined Figma in 2018 may be worth $300-50 million. But co-founder? Valued at $400-600 million.
They are all relative. The game lives in San Francisco, and the game is very intense, and so is wealth. It is best to move to Honolulu to live a better life.
Once you are rich, you won’t blow money
Unless you lack self-discipline completely, you will continue to make reasonable financial decisions. I put Joseph’s chances in fact cost $200,000 in a Porsche or Lamborghini, once he hit $5 million for less than 50%. You tend to be smarter when you know how long it takes to get there and the risks and energy involved.
He either follows my 1/10 rule on buying a car, or more importantly, follow my home to car ratio to make sure he spends responsibly. If Joseph made $2 million a year or owned $10 billion in homes according to my 30/30/3 home purchase rules, it might not happen that $200,000 purchase $200,000 would have happened. I believe everyone is rational for a long time. And, rationally, everyone will do a lot of research before spending on such expensive goods.
A good example: I can’t let myself replace my 10-year-old Range Rover with the new Range Rover. I bought my car for $60,000 and it still makes me from A to B very good.
When I can invest the same amount into a basket of growth stocks, S&P 500, lease property or rent or Innovation FundIt owns stakes in companies such as Openai, Anthropic, Anduril, Ramp and Databricks.
The opportunity cost of not investing feels too high. Should I go to YOLO with a $120,000 car because it will be dragged to the supermarket? Or should I invest $120,000 in my kid’s future so that they don’t have to worry about them as an adult?
Obviously, any rational person who loves children will choose the latter.
When investment is better than expenditure
At some point, you may realize that you just like investing more than just spending. Watch your money combination, especially when you become an angel investor or a limited partner early, you can find one or several unicorns. What is more satisfying is the freedom and selectivity brought by greater wealth. Since 2010, this is me.
As a parent, I feel constantly low on my kids’ future. Saving and investing relieves this anxiety for them. For example, once I buy and specify a rental property for each child, my stress on housing and college costs is reduced.
In 18-23 years, these homes will be rewarded and will:
- Provide them with shelter if necessary
- Generate rental income to pay for their college
- Provide part-time jobs in managing property
- Support my retirement
It feels good to know that my children are not poor and homeless, even if the world rejects them based on their identity.
So…when can you spend money?
We are often told to save and invest. Delayed gratification. Let complex interests exert their magic. This is the right way for you in the first half of your life.
Ultimately, spending on “unproductive” things is not only acceptable, but also rational, healthy and profound. Millions dying in the bank are shameful. This means that all these hours of work and stress-consuming accumulated wealth are not used, and some of the money can be enjoyed to make life richer.
Here is a framework that can help you determine when you can splurge:
1. You have reached your core financial goals
If:
Then, you have won the right to relax the re-rope. A $5,000 holiday or a $1,500 hobby splurge won’t derail your future. It can even enhance it.
2. Fees are aligned with your values
Not every return is financial. Some purchases are created:
- Lasting memories
- Joy or personal update
- Contact with people or places
Ask yourself:
“Will I remember five years later?”
“Does this reflect the life I want to live?”
If so, please go.
3. It can increase energy, focus or time
Some “squandering” actually unlocks productivity:
- Hire Help
- Upgrade the workspace
- Book a short excursion
From the right lens, these expenses are investments in a better quality of life.
For decades, I’ve been too stubborn to hire help around the house. But one day, I accepted the gardener’s offer to prune all the plants in front of my home for $300. Not only did I save at least five hours, but the curb appeal has also improved significantly compared to when we did our own maintenance.
4. You have been frugal for more than 10 years
If you have at least ten years of discipline, not spending can become a risk. Hoisting every dollar can lead to regret, especially as time becomes your most limited asset.
After years of restraint, it is not reckless, it is rebalanced. You have to practice the art of explanation. The best age to start dismantling wealth is about 45-50.
All studies have shown that spending tends to decline after retirement and as you age. Why? Because you are no longer so healthy or mobile, you can no longer enjoy your wealth. Spend more now, though you can still really enjoy your money!
5. This is a small part of your net worth
Simple Rules: If the purchase is 1-2% of your net worth and adds real value to your life, it may be worth it.
Example: If your net worth is $1 million, a luxury trip of $10,000 – $20,000 won’t get you back. It may actually make you feel more energetic. The key is to spend money on what you really value. Because even $1 is too much if you don’t.
Ideally spend money instead of in-depth
The goal of wealth must not only accumulate, but also live a good life. Once you have established your foundation, allow yourself to enjoy the money in important ways.
If you don’t use it to live a better life, there is no point in working hard to make money.
Personally, I care more about security and freedom than material things. Just wear simple and comfortable clothes. As long as it is safe, it will feel good to drive. Sitting in the economy class next to my 8-year-old son, there were a lot of rooms and we didn’t get to our destination than paying 2-10 times first. I don’t need a good watch because my phone works fine.
But this is me Do value:
1. Lived in a nice home and my kids still live with us
Having a home with an enclosed yard has always been a dream where my kids can play safely without having to worry about them ramming into the streets or being approached by strangers. So I bought an almost perfect house, although that means transferring a lot of capital from potentially higher returns. We spend at least 15 hours at home every day, so we make use of the house more than anything else.
2. Our children’s quality education
This includes their fluent second language. This type of education in San Francisco costs an arm and a leg. But that is consistent with my values, so I’m willing to spend it now. Over the years, I’ve also been happy to work with the kids to improve my Mandarin.
3. Delicious food
Having lived in New York City and San Francisco since 1999 (can be two food capitals in the United States), it’s hard not to be spoiled by amazing food. Once the food delivery service is perfected, we go all out and order regularly from our favorite local attractions. The only downside of so many food love? Higher calories and wider waistline than I wanted. No Chipendale dances for me!
4. Not told how to deal with my time
Most importantly, I would rather give up a stable salary and gain benefits in exchange for free choice of my time. In finance, not earning at least $250,000 in basic salary is like Payment My free is $250,000 per year. Once the minimum investment threshold was reached, the job became optional and I decided to walk away instead of suffering from the “one year” syndrome.
According to your values
Life is not just about maximizing the return on investment, it is also about enjoying the journey. Don’t be afraid to spend ways to meaningfully improve your quality of life.
Ultimately, the goal is to align your spending with value. If you do this, your money will always feel good.
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