Despite finally getting permission to live in retirement, I still find it difficult to spend money on things I don’t really need. A big part of building wealth has always been about endurance. The more we can tolerate — long hours, delayed gratification, and the occasional investment crash — the greater our likelihood of getting rich over time.
On the other hand, if we keep taking the easy path, life will often get harder in the long run. If we have children, they may end up bearing the consequences of our inaction.
A “fire” mentality has been ingrained in me since I got my first full-time job in 1999. Even today, at age 48, after going to bed around midnight, I can’t help but wake up before 5:30 AM. My body still craves the hardships I went through while working, like an addict. In New York, I work from 5:30 am to 7:30 pm; in San Francisco, from 6 am to 5:30 pm, often checking my phone until 10 pm
If I don’t get up early and do something productive before my family wakes up, I don’t feel good. my inside Provider’s clock The ticking sound keeps getting louder and won’t let me rest.
This tension between the need to provide and the desire to enjoy freedom was a struggle I did not anticipate when I left the workforce. It is extremely difficult to change habits after years of training.
Pain is relative
If you live in a developed country like the United States, your pain might be sitting in traffic for an hour each way while wolfing down a double cheeseburger and a Diet Coke. Sure, you’ll probably be eaten first during the next zombie apocalypse because you can’t run an eight-minute mile, but at least you’ll be eating well. Now, they will too.
However, if you live in rural Cambodia, suffering can mean not being able to feed your family every day. Your child is malnourished and walks miles to school in the summer heat. Ironically, they would probably survive the same zombie apocalypse because they are used to hardship.
So if we find ourselves living in a developed country with all modern conveniences, it is natural to become weak.
Not willing to suffer, just to get better
The reason most of us don’t have flat abs and chiseled chests is because exercise requires too much pain. Who has the time or energy to juggle work and family responsibilities? We all know that regular exercise can help us live healthier and longer lives, but what the heck! The workload is too much.
The reason we haven’t mastered our favorite instruments until now is because excellence requires painful practice—repeating the same scales, chords, and tunes for hours until our fingers ache and our minds wander. It’s easier to let our guitars gather dust and play Pandora.
Perhaps the reason we don’t have better relationships with our children is that caring for children requires tremendous patience and effort. It is much easier to outsource our responsibilities to daycares, nannies, au pairs and schools.
Or maybe we don’t get far in our careers because connecting and adulating people we don’t like is a silent pain in itself. We can’t ignore our values for a promotion or a raise.
Life is suffering. The sooner we accept this truth, the freer and perhaps richer we will become.
How to Suffer Easier and Come Out Stronger
The key to accepting pain is to live with it for the benefit of others. If you can do this, you can endure almost anything.
Recently, I was faced with a dilemma: Pay $1,448 for first class to Honolulu or $448 for economy class—a difference of $1,000. This flight was on a Boeing 777-300ER, my favorite aircraft for this distance. First class seats are single-window lie-flat seats with no adjacent seats. luxury.
After 30 years of saving and investing, I can afford it. This year alone, my portfolio has lost 100 times that amount in one day multiple times.
But I’m hesitant about this decision because first class doesn’t get you there any faster than economy. Spending money to save time makes sense; spending money just for comfort is trickier.
Transform pain into purpose through family
When I looked at United’s website, the $448 economy seats turned out to be trailer fare. To choose a window seat, I had to pay an extra $59 each way. Sitting in the middle seat for five hours isn’t torture, but it’s not fun either.
If the flight was delayed or I was squeezed between two plus-size passengers in my space, the trip could have been miserable. Throw in some strong cologne or some shocking perfume, and pain is a given. After over 200 work flights, I’m having fun with it. At this stage, I’d rather pay for comfort.
But while I was debating, I checked the kids’ investment accounts and discovered that my daughter’s custodial account was about $1,600 less than it was when my son was the same age. She is three years younger and about 17% of her accounts are on Amazon, which has lagged the S&P 500 and Nasdaq since 2020.
Immediately, the provider inside me took over. I need to make fixed This imbalance.
Steps to suffering for my daughter.
first step: Punishing myself for choosing the wrong stock is a 10-hour round trip in economy class. She relied on me to make good financial decisions for her, but I failed.
Step two: Transfer $1,000 of First Class savings into her investment account.
Step three: Find a way to save and suffer more! Instead of saving $1,000 by booking economy class, I booked Basic economy class The additional savings of $100 brought my total investment in her to $1,100.
Then I transferred $1,100 to her and her brother Fengsheng Venture Capital account rather than the S&P 500 Index. A down payment of $1,100 and an additional $98,900 for two children.
A week later, I got really annoyed that her account was still $500 short, so I donated another $500 to make up for it. Now I have to figure out how to save the $500 by reducing some of my needs.
For those who are wondering, Basic economy class Might mean a middle seat because you were assigned a seat at the gate at the last minute with only a small carry-on and no option to change flights or sit with friends or family.
RELATED: Taking advantage of the stock market downturn to help your kids get rich
It’s easier to do something for someone else
Most of us would do anything for the people we love. So if you want to become richer, devote your efforts—and yes, your pain—to them. When the goal is to give your family a better life, you work harder, take smarter risks, and persevere through hardships.
If you don’t have children, channel that same motivation toward the people or causes that matter most—a parent who sacrificed for you, a friend who always showed up, or even a loyal pet who relied on you. Or maybe it’s a charitable mission that gives your savings and investments a deeper meaning.
When you set goals for your financial journey, discipline becomes easier and wealth creation feels less like greed and more like gratitude in action.
Of course, I’d love to stretch out and sleep in first class on my next flight to Hawaii. But my daughter’s financial security is more important. Plus, considering I don’t have work responsibilities, it’s already a privilege to be able to fly to Hawaii midweek. Perspectives matter.
The easiest way to suffer often and build more appreciation
One of the easiest ways to remind ourselves how lucky we are is to fast. Since eating is a daily habit, voluntarily limiting food intake is a powerful reminder not to take adequacy for granted.
About 750 million people in the world face hunger and about 2.4 billion people face food insecurity. Once you truly understand this and see it for yourself, you’ll be less likely to waste food or overeat.
Fasting can humble you, increase gratitude, save money, and improve your health. That’s a good combination, especially if food prices are high or aid programs are at risk of disruption.
In a world prone to excess, choosing restraint can be a quiet act of strength and a reminder of just how lucky we really are.
Readers, what kind of pain are you willing to endure in order to increase your wealth? What mind games or mental shifts can help you accept more discomfort to enhance your health, relationships, and fulfillment?
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