Dear Dave,
Our daughter is 27 years old and she has been married for three years. We have been helping her and her husband financially often throughout their marriage, and we fear it won’t end anytime soon. They both have decent jobs and we don’t know where their money goes. Recently, they even tried to get us introverted, saying we were afraid that our granddaughters might have to do nothing if we didn’t help them. We are not sure how to stop this behavior. Do you have any ideas?
Danielle
Dear Danielle,
I know this is a tough situation for you and your husband. Considering that grandfather doesn’t need something she needs will hurt you. But let’s be real here. This is the time your daughter and your son-in-law have learned how to manage money like a responsible adult. I don’t know how many of you two have grown up trying to teach her about her financial situation, but it sounds like “need help” like this is turning into an endless cycle.
You’re giving them the money to sway and it’s obvious it won’t work properly. you give They fish. I’m sure you’ve heard that old saying, right? Let’s flip the script. you can teach They want to fish, which means they won’t give fish anymore. Honestly? I think there is a better way. What if you fish for them The only one What if they take a fishing class? That way, I mean, unless they go to financial consultation together and take their lives seriously, they will no longer receive your money.
They have figured out if they manipulate your feelings and you will cut them out for checking. They are playing with you now. So if they try again, maybe they are worried that your granddaughter might go to bed without supper, tell them to send her to your residence for dinner. If they complain about the money before payday is out of money, tell them to attend a financial advisory meeting to learn how to solve the problem.
Now, whenever they have problems, they call Mom and Dad. But this is a matter. As long as you keep doing your own work, they won’t really have problems. Love them well, be friendly, but very serious. Let them know that you will no longer give them any money unless they have a financial advisory meeting together. Tell them if they will do this and submit a budget to you so you and your husband can help guide them on how to be an adult and better handle their money so that you can set up a matching system for whatever money you save.
Of course, matching plans are not a permanent thing. But if you gently and firmly lead them to a different way of thinking and acting in a money way, and provide encouragement and some positive reinforcement from time to time, you may soon start to see things change.
– Dave
