When I lived overseas, one of the most famous aspects of international schools was cultural diversity. At Kuala Lumpur International School, Taipei American School and Canadian College in Japan, I have classmates from all over the world. With such a diverse student body, natural openness and acceptance between each other and learning different cultures with real curiosity.
Things changed when I moved to Virginia to attend high school and college. The cultural diversity I experienced during the first thirteen years of my life seemed to disappear. Most of my classmates grew up in Northern Virginia and have known each other since elementary school. Coming to the United States is a cultural impact.
My positive experience growing up overseas, and my 13 years of working in international stocks, are part of the reason I have added my kids to Mandarin immersion schools. We value our ability to speak a second language and understand our ability to transcend our culture.
To give you an understanding of how cultural differences affect the ability of minorities to develop in the workplace, I would like to share my personal experience. My hope is to reveal blind spots that some employers or employees may have unconsciously.
Out of respect for the participants, I have been waiting until now to release this story because the company no longer exists. This article is not to blame, but to share a life experience that highlights how a part of most culture presents additional challenges in career development.
Different cultures can make the work environment uncomfortable
I once consulted part-time at a startup in San Francisco. In the final round of interviews, I personally met three employees and gave them a signed copy of each of the WSJ bestsellers, Buy this, notwith personal notes, thank them for their time and opportunities.
I ended up finding the job and was happy to go to the office once a week after my son went to school. The team is friendly and I am happy to be part of a collaborative environment again. The part-time role takes about 20-25 hours a week, which is a good balance as both of my kids are full-time.
About a month, I decided to move to the sofa in my office to write an article. This was my first time sitting there, but it reminded me of the sofa I often write at home. Writing at a desk where people are chatting about is not my style. As a writer, I need silence.
“Unintentional” disrespect
As I sat on the couch, I looked up at a temporary compartment where a senior employee (the founding designer I was interviewed for) worked. To my surprise, I noticed that my book was used as a monitor stand, stacked together with another book below his screen!
wtf? !
Some people may think this is important, but I feel insulted. It took me two years to write Buy this, notengraved with personal notes and given them as gifts to him. At least, I wish he could take it home or put it on a shelf instead of reusing it as an office equipment.
In my culture, books are respected. They did not step on dirty hands or used as doorways. If you don’t want to study, that’s great. Just don’t use the author as a prop and disrespect the author, especially in They’re in the same room. If this senior employee is from Asian culture, I doubt he would do that.
After seeing his casual treatment of my book, I no longer want to go into the office and remember disrespect. I don’t believe he intends to insult me, but the information is clear. From that week on, I chose to work from home.
Working from home as a new employee can be a career-limiting move
If you feel uncomfortable in the office, you won’t do the best job. You may avoid people you contact naturally, which can weaken your internal support network, especially when it comes to boosting or promotions.
Fortunately for me, I had the flexibility to work from home and did not seek a raise or promotion as a part-time consultant. However, due to the lack of physical presence, I missed the relationship building through small talk, coffee break or casual walk to lunch. These seemingly small moments play a big role in office culture and how people like, trust and support you.
If you are a relatively new employee (with less than three years of employee), it is worth spending most of your time in the office if you want to go up. Working from home regularly can hinder your career. The reality is that people don’t advocate for colleagues they barely know. When people don’t cheer you on, the opportunity passes.
Cultural differences in happy hours
You might think that the cultural conflict ends with the incident in this book, but there are more!
One weekday afternoon, the team organized a happy hour, drinking and food around 4pm, and I decided to join. I love good party with drinks. This is one of the things I miss most about working full-time – and the year-end holiday party.
I quickly arrived at 4 and most crew members were filtered before 4:15. Senior employees using my book as monitor appear around 4:30. I greeted him and we all started chatting on the beer. No embarrassment.
We ordered some chicken wings and after eating three, I stuffed the bones under the bowl on the table. In my culture, this is how we avoid contaminating unedited food, especially when there are no empty dishes and everyone is tightly stuffed into it. I don’t want to put the chewed bones and the new wings in the same bowl.
To my surprise, the same senior employee disgusted me and said, “What are you doing? Put those bones on the plate!”
I was caught off guard. But I calmly explained why I did it. Is he really wanting to touch someone’s half-saturated wings while grabbing a new one?
He apologized, we laughed and enjoyed our beer all the time. He then added: “ph, I’m glad this happened in a small environment.”
Interestingly, the CEO (also Asian) also placed her chicken bones directly on the table, but the napkin was even more complicated.
Absorbing it in the workplace takes effort
After the second incident, it was obvious that I did not support my colleagues. We never argued, but we were like oil and water. If I were a full-time employee, I might end up with a “bamboo ceiling.”
This experience led me to reflect on the measures that many ethnic minorities or people from different backgrounds must take to adapt to the new work environment. Especially in small companies, it may be necessary to be culturally aware and adapt to dominant workplace norms rather than an option. Before joining any team, it is worth knowing about your potential colleagues, not just their resume, but who they are.
If you are part of most people, you can enjoy it easily. You don’t need to change the way you speak, take action, or think. This similarity creates natural rapport that can be translated into support and career development.
But when someone comes from a different background, it takes extra effort to understand them – most people are not disturbing, frankly. us Assume that others will adapt to usnot the other way around. Even if no one means harm, this assumption can make people in different cultures feel unwelcome or misunderstood.
After four months of consulting with this fintech startup, I decided I had enough and sent a notice. It was an eye-opening experience that gave me a new discovery appreciation for how early start employees work. It also reminds you how exhausting it is to stay in an inappropriate environment.
For me, don’t know, I didn’t have the senior staff with me in just three months later. If I knew he was going to leave, I might be in trouble!
If disrespect is unintentional, please do not accept it yourself
I share these examples not to increase responsibility, but to raise awareness. What you think is strange things from Tunisia, Japan or Stephanie’s Ray might just be culture. Instead of making a quiet judgment, try to ask questions and get to know the person. You may find the reasons behind the behavior, often exactly logical or respectful.
If you feel out of place due to cultural differences, it is still important to work hard to absorb. If your boss likes Pickleball, try playing. You may hate tacos, but if your team hits Taqueria every Tuesday, you’d better learn to endure a little. It’s not always fair, but if you want to succeed in that environment, you have to meet with the people they are.
At the same time, don’t be afraid to share all aspects of culture. If a moment like the chicken wing event happens, then explain it as an opportunity – not on defense, proudly. Most people are not intentionally disrespectful; they simply don’t get in touch with anything outside of the bubble.
Cultural misunderstandings are inevitable. But with both sides’ compassion and hard work, they don’t have to be a career.
Some of the cultural differences you encounter in the workplace may make you back? Do you use fresh wings to place the serving chicken wings in a bowl or place them on the table to avoid contamination, if there are no empty plates? Would you feel disrespectful if a colleague uses the book you wrote as a monitor?
Negotiation to dismiss the job you don’t like
Work is running out of work when you are uncomfortable. If you spend most of your life working, you can find the right one on your own. No money or reputation is not worth it every day and don’t feel like you belong to you.
That’s why I recommend learning how to negotiate severance payments by reading my best-selling e-book, How to design layoffs. It will show you how to create a win-win with your employer, with valuable financial buffering. My wife and I both negotiated six-figure severance payments (Mine and the 2015 in 2012), and we have never returned to full-time work since then.
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